Home Alone
by A True Weasley
Summary: After a disaster the last time they went school shopping, Fred and George are left home alone. Big mistake. Not slash. Mentions of Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny.
1. Home Alone

Fred sat on the couch, his head lolling over the side.

"Fred…" George said from the other side of the couch, "What are we going to do?"  
"Maybe the candy wasn't such a good idea…" Fred said.

"I thought being home alone would be fun!" George whined.

"Me too," Fred moaned.

"Wait!" George shouted, sitting up, "I know what we'll do!"  
"What?" Fred said.

"Guess!" George said.

"WHAT?!" Fred yelled.

"We're going to the drive thru!" George said, "Actually no, we can go raid people's stuff!"  
Fred gasped, "That's genius!"  
So they ran up the stairs, heading straight to Ron's room.

George was in first, and dove straight under Ron's bed, shouting, "What the heck?!"

**So, what do you think?**

**Look at the cute little button down there…he's so lonely! He would feel better if you reviewed!**


	2. Hogwarts, a History

**A/N: I forgot a general disclaimer!**

**Disclaimer: Anything that is mentioned in this story does not belong to me.**

"What is it?!" Fred said, hurrying over to the side of Ron's bed.

George pulled out from underneath the bed, holding a large book with the words _Hogwarts, a History _printed in gold on the front.

"What the heck?!" Fred said.

"Why would Ronniekins have a book like this?" George said mischeviously, opening the book.

"What the heck?!" Fred yelled again.

The pages were all filled with Ron's writing.

Tucked in the folds were things from first year, and most importantly, pictures of Hermione.

"Fred, before you say what the heck again, I say we read this book," George said, starting to read, "December 15th, Fourth Year: So there's this ball coming up, and I really want to go with Hermione, but I don't know how to ask-"  
Fred's face broke into a grin, "Ron told us never to look in the underwear drawer, right?"

"Right," George said slowly.

Fred hurried over to the drawer, opening it up:  
Out sprang a huge picture of Ron, Harry, and Hermione in first year, only Harry was crossed off and there was a large heart around Hermione and Ron.

"Shall we put this on the wall?" Fred asked.

"We shall!" George said, heading over to help Fred.

_25 minutes later…_

"We did well," Fred remarked.

"We did," George agreed.

"What do you say we put some of our first tests of puking pastilles in some cookies?" Fred asked.

"Brilliant!" George said.

_40 minutes later…_

"Okay, the cookies are done and the pastilles are inside…" Fred said, "Now what?"  
"What about our clock?" George said.

"What can we do with that, change the time so dad is late to work?" Fred asked.

"Well no, we can bewitch Percy's hand to go to 'Drowning in our pool,'," George said.

"We don't have a pool," Fred reminded George.

"We don't now," George said, "But we will."

**Hey look! A review button! I wonder what it does...**


	3. Kiddie Pool

George and Fred ran out to the garden.

"If we put a pool here, it would be like a kiddy pool," Fred said.

"A deep kiddy pool," George said, "Start digging."

So they started digging a hole.

And it got bigger, and bigger, until…

"George! I can't hear you anymore!" Fred shouted.

George climbed up the ladder and said, "I think it's deep enough."

So they started filling up the hole with water with their wands.

_60 minutes later…_

"How do we put Percy in there?" George asked.

"Simple. We just make a model of him, and then we just put it in," George said.

"Or we don't put anything in, and Mom will think he's at the bottom of the pool," Fred said.

"Genius," George replied.

* * *

"Let's see, by now they are probably almost done with shopping and going to lunch…we have about one hour," Fred said.

"One hour?!" George said, "That's unfair."  
"We have one hour to do whatever we want," Fred said, "I don't think that's unfair."

**Reviews make Percy drown in the swimming pool.**


	4. Petrificus Totalus!

"You know Fred, as genius as it is, can't we just call Percy over here, push him in the pool, and then put the full body bind curse on him?" George said.

"Hmm….I like it," Fred said.

"So let's call Percy," George said.

_5 minutes later…_

"Percy? Percy, it's me Fred," Fred said, "Listen, we have some information about illegal things going on at Hogwarts and we think you should know."  
"Can't you just tell me over the phone?" Percy whined.

"Oh no. Too dangerous. Besides, Mom and Dad are out so you don't have to worry," Fred said.

"Fine," Percy said.

_20 minutes later…_

Percy came in via floo, and he immediately started looking for Fred.

"I'm out in the garden," Fred called.

Percy marched out to the garden, and began with, "What-"  
But George jumped out and screamed, "Petrificus totalus!" and Percy dropped to the ground.

Fred rolled Percy into the pool.

"That was a job well done, Fred," George said.

"Very well done, if I do say so myself," Fred said.

"So now what?" George said.

"We could prank call someone," Fred said.

"Good idea!" George said.

And then they rushed inside.

**I know, I know, short chapter. I'm sorry. And yes, I am aware that the Weasleys do not own a phone. But this is AU…probably.**

**Reviews get Percy to drown!**


	5. Therapy

"Wait!" Fred said.

"What?"  
"Mom is going to kill us if Percy dies-no matter how much of a git he is!" Fred said.

"Well I have this floaty here," George said, holding up a large inflatable rubber duck that goes around your waist.

"Alright, let's put it on Percy!" Fred said.

So they fished Percy out, fastened the floaty to his waist and put him back in the pool.

"Alright, now I'm up for some awesome prank calls," George said.

So they headed back in.

"Who do we call first?" George asked.

"I say either Snape or Voldy," Fred said.

"Hmm…let's do Voldy," George said, "Then Snape."  
"Okay! I have his number here, because Harry called it once while Ron was secretly making MORE pictures of him and Hermione!" Fred said.

"Well then," George said, starting to dial the number.

"This is Voldy," Voldy said.

"Hey Voldy, it's Fred and George!" Fred said excitedly.

"Oh God, not you two," Voldy said.

"Yes us! Who else would it be?!" George said.

"Well, I was suspecting Potter, because that one time he called and said that his button was missing…well anyhoo what did you want?" Voldy said.

"You're awfully cheerful for the Dark Lord," George remarked.

"Yes…well I've been going to therapy…" Voldy said quietly.

"Oh my," Fred said, and he and George burst out laughing.

"It's not funny! He makes me reenact my life with Barbies, bake cookies, and watch Spongebob!" Voldy yelled.

"…Reenact your life with Barbies?" Fred asked.

He and George were now in hysterics.

"Enough! Why am I talking to you two about my problems?" Voldy asked.

"Oh shoot! Uh, gotta go, the ducks are exploding!" Fred said, hanging up.

"Well that piece of information could potentially help Harry," Fred said.

"Wait, I have one more," George said, "Ginny finds him hottest in blue."  
"…Well let's call Snape now!" Fred said.

So they dialed Snape.

"Hello," Snape said dully.

"Hello Snape! This is a therapist-"  
"I never called for a therapist," Snape said.

"Well, someone else who has been coming to my services recommended I give you a call!" Fred said in a fake American accent.

"And who would that be?" Snape asked.

"Well, he calls himself Voldy!" Fred said, "What a silly name!"  
Silence on the other line.

"You still there?" Fred asked.

"Yes," Snape said, "And what exactly does he go to therapy for?"  
"He has some serious anger issues!" Fred said.

"And he recommended me to you because…?" Snape asked.

"He thought it might help you get over some girl!" Fred said.

"…Some girl?" Snape asked feebly.

"Yeah!" Fred said excitedly, "So what do you say? Do you wanna set up an appointment?"  
"No," Snape said, hanging up.

"Well that was rude," George said.

"That was fun," Fred said, "Now what?"  
"I say we raid Ron's room again," George said, "To find more pictures."  
**Woo long chappie! I hope you liked it! If you did, tell me in a review!**


	6. More Pictures

Fred and George trotted up to Ron's room, and George immediately seized Ron's pillow.

Underneath it was a scrapbook.

Fred grabbed it and opened it up.

"Oh…"  
"My…"  
"Pickle…"  
The book was filled with pictures of Hermione.

"I wonder if Ginny has one of Harry…?"  
"Let's check it out!"  
So off they ran to Ginny's room.

"Eugh, it reeks of perfume in here," George said.

Fred dove under the bed.

"Look what I found!" Fred shouted, coming out from under the bed and pulling out yet another scrapbook.

They opened it up.

"It's full of Harry!" George exclaimed.

"So what do you say we put up all these pictures of Harry and Hermione and occasionally Ron and Ginny?" Fred asked.

"Brilliant," George said with a smile.

So they ripped the pictures out of both scrapbooks and pasted them in various places all over.

"We should have about twenty minutes left," Fred said.

"Hang on," George said, "I gotta pee."  
"Well alright then," Fred said.

As soon as George was gone, Fred tore some pages out of Ron's diary and put them in envelopes and addressed them to Hermione and Harry.

He stuck them in his pockets for later.

George came back.

"Shall we open the mail?" Fred asked.

"Yup," George responded.

So they hurried outside and opened the mail.

"Nothing interesting, except for now we know of a wedding we can crash," George said.

"Right," Fred said, "I think we have about five minutes."  
"Let's go sit on the couch and pretend we were good little boys this whole time," George said with a grin.

**Review! REVIEW!**


	7. A Happy Ending After All

Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, Ron, Harry, and Hermione burst in.

"We're home! Were you two good boys while we were gone?" Mrs. Weasley called as she walked in.

Fred and George were about to say something when they heard loud shrieks.  
Fred and George high fived.

Ron looked as if he wanted to die, and was a crumpled heap on a chair.

Hermione looked positively peachy, absolutely glowing yet blushing.

Harry seemed confused and Ginny was clutching her books so hard that her knuckles were turning white.

Fred and George feigned innocence. "Snape came in and put all this up. We have no idea why."  
Ron was now a tiny little ball on the chair, rocking back and forth on his heels.

Mrs. Weasley was quite mad. "Do you know how much therapy Ron is going to need for this? And where-oh my word, what is out there?!"

She hurried out to the garden. She shrieked.

"Percy!"  
Fred and George stifled a laugh. "Percy! What on Earth are you doing in there?!"  
Percy just floated there, looking like a buoy in the water, just sitting there awkwardly.

Mrs. Weasley pulled Percy out and unpetrified him.

"It was those two! They did this to me!" he shrieked as he spit out water.

Fred and George exchanged a shocked look. "Us? No!"  
Percy turned a Weasley red. "Yes!"  
Mrs. Weasley tended to Percy while Fred mouthed _I'll be right back _to George.

He headed inside and pulled the letters out of his pocket and gave them to Harry and Hermione.

"These are for you two. They were in the mail," Fred explained, and then he patted Ron as the head as he went to go look at a picture that he and George had made, which was Ron and Hermione together.

He whistled. "Snape sure did a good job."  
Harry's face got more puzzled as he read down the letter, and Hermione just turned more red and pink.

Ginny was sighing and was running her fingers through her hair, which is what she does when she's thoroughly embarrassed and nervous.

Harry put down the letter, and then strode off looking quite confused.

Hermione was now giggling strangely. She had finished her letter and was next to Ron (who seemed to get crazier by the minute).

Ginny was twisting her hair back and forth and George, Mrs. Weasley, and Percy came in.

"Boys!" Mrs. Weasley began threateningly, and then she gave a long lecture.

Fred and George were not listening though. Their minds wandered off.

Ginny was thoroughly bored by this, and then when Harry came back she blushed fiercely.

Ron was sort of uncoiling out of his ball of terror, and Hermione was somewhat normal.

Mrs. Weasley huffed, "Is no one listening to me?! Well!"

And she left.

Percy angrily Apparated out, leaving everyone else alone.

Fred and George began a fit of mad laughter.

"What was your letter about?" Ginny asked Harry timidly.

"Um…it was from you…to your diary…" Harry said.

Ginny gave him a gaping look before running out.

Ron began to laugh nervously, and Hermione just…well, was Hermione.

Fred and George were in tears on the floor, their laughter echoing throughout the room.

When they finally stopped, Fred said, "You know George? I think that today has been the most fine we've had in a long time."  
**Finally it's done! Thank you all for staying with the series!  
Please, do the review button a favor and click it.**


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